win the championship

Welcome to Wishaw Bowling Club.

How to win the Championship.

You take a wee Wally Jack, four old chippit bools

Two rubber mats and the SBA. Rules

Then they put up a sheet says who you’ve to play

Then you mutually agree the time and the day

Play two trial ends, see how the greens rolling

Just tells your opponent how badly your bowling

Study each head no sure what to dae

Hoping it’s true what the critics all say

The wee man is with him he canna go wrong

Your bowl will wick in Barclay play any hand

And after you’ve won the spectators all say

“Huh, he beat him by luck, it wisnae by play”

So you study the board to see your next tie

Your opponents been ill and he’s gied you a bye

And you’ve just started to play the third round

When the skies open up and the rain it pours down

Your opponent’s gie old past eighty three

He’s bad with rheumatics and has bother to see

He’ll never win his hands are arthritic

I bet you a pound his bowlin’s pathetic

And you win by one shot and pray without shame

Thank you lord for sending the rain

The spectators all say “Huh” one blink of sun

And everyone kens the old one would’ve won

But your through to the semi see who you get

A man who has beat you each time you’ve met

And true to form he’s boolin right keen

He’s standing at twenty, your just seventeen

And look at the beauty he’s got on the jack

You’ve only one bowl, ach gie it a smack

The onlookers cry when the bowl leaves your hand

He’s played it all wrang and look where it’s goin

but it hits off his bool and picks up the jack

And the pair of them trundle on through to the back

Then he flings up his hands did you ever see the like

He’s got four bloody shots from a damned awful strike

And the spectators all say “Would it no make you cry.

If he fell in the Clyde him he’d clamber out dry”

Now over the final best draw a veil

Everyone kens that it was luck that prevailed

But I still think hardly quite fair

To call me a J . ., Annointed and mair

But they’ll hand you this cup

Say how well you have played

But I’ve telt you the truth how a champion’s made