Welcome to Wishaw Bowling Club.
“The Handicap”.
That night inside the gate I stood
In thoughtful apprehensive mood
And wondered what would be the score
I thought I might get three or four
For everyone you spoke to said
Tam never had a bad game played
And that was true and knowing me
I’d need some luck to get past three
I shrugged my shoulders and gave a sigh
Thought well it’s just another tie
Changed my shoes, sat on a stool
Put yellow discs on every bool
So the onlookers might ken
How many Tam lay at every end
By then the appointed hour was past
T’was most unusual I wasnae last
And after half an hour had gone
I thought you lucky sod - you’ve won
He’s gone and clean forgot the date
When who comes crawling through the gate
But Tam with curly locks awry
A sleepy look in both his eyes
But on his face yon winning smile
That every one he knows beguiles
“Claim the tie “, said he “you can”
He’s aye the perfect gentleman
I ask you folks what could I dae
Nothing else for it but play
But it was slowly on me dawning
Tam could hardly stop from yawning
Just to dae the thing that’s right
He’d been travelling day and night
All the way from the USA
This final on oor green tae play,